January 1985

1-8-85

          The 104 class at JJELS has become the most troublesome of all JJELS classes. The class leader has lead the class in a hasty direction. They did not like me and the day I was late because of the ‘freight train’ back from Tainan, they were led to the office to complain about me. I made the error of being too friendly before I found out if I liked them. I cover all the work but I became suspect because of the complaint. I was observed by Tom on a bad class. I was called in for a meeting to view a video of a contrived [model] class. I was called in again Sunday to see Steve about my technique. Tonight I was taped by Steve. The class has settled down and seems to have had a change of heart about me. Aside from doing extra hand signals, a pet technique of JJELS, I am not teaching out of my sorts, anyway. All this in a quiet time at JJELS with nothing much for the staff to do. I would like a copy of the video to keep as a memory. I do not think it was a bad performance at all but, naturally, there are flaws that I would not do on another night that the students would not do if they knew the materials. Tom tells me to talk less and stop heavy explanations. Steve tells me to go slow to gather the class and explain more. I will indulge them and the students. I will indulge the good Sister, too. Indulging people has become a habit this winter; what else to do when you are being leaned on and you know you are not doing anything bad. Indulging can be a fine art.

1-18-85

          Things came to a head with the Sister. I told her how I felt humiliated by her. She said I was immature for taking her ‘advice’ in that way. I ask you, are lines like ‘what university did you go to?’ or ‘I am not giving you the lower third of freshman reading appreciation because you are not capable,’ or ‘you have made too many mistakes’ humiliating or not? Now my freshman reading appreciation class has been taken away from me altogether, all based on what I am sure is a small bunch of students who do not know what they want from my class as the other two classes do. I wonder what they will get on their final. If their scores are lower than those of the other two classes, I will concede. But if they are up to par…? ‘It will be psychologically good for you,’ says the Sister, but I still lose my class; it has been given to Agnes; the only thing she has going for her is she is Chinese; the children identify with her. No wonder Joya had the balls to tell me my class was bad; she had the sister’s backing. I can bear humiliation, but if that snotnose speaks one word to me, I will kiss her ugly cold eyes. I do not take that school seriously.

1-20-85

          Even if I were happy at Fu Jen, the prospect of six weeks off with pay would be exciting. Since I do not like working there, this holiday is that much more special. I will still be teaching thirteen hours a week at JJELS, four hours at Guo Ding, two hours at home, and three hours at a new school, Ding Hao and maybe some hours at the famous Connie Jordan school so I will not be milling around. Though I taught only eleven hours a week with six in the Writing Lab, it seemed like forty with all the trouble and homework to mark.

1-25-85

          I returned to Fu Jen yesterday morning to pick up the final exams [to mark]. I will have plenty of work before they are due by the end of next week. Mr. Lee will mark the Business English test though. I am committed to mark two of seven questions from the Business Writing section of the class. I will mail the final grades [back] so I will not need to go out there until March. I get an anxiety attack when I think of going out there. I cannot stand the sight of Helena and most of the students. I am resentful of Mr. Nash for not experiencing the same problems that I have. His time will come. He does not deserve trouble any more than I do but my being shat upon makes him seem more right. This is my fate. There is some place better for me than at Fu Jen.

          Steve says there probably will not be a 109 class at JJELS until summer, contrary to what Tom said. Steve said he is waiting for the conceited guy to write a syllabus like he is the only one who can. I should write a course description. I would prefer to write a whole program for my own school but my wife does not think that is a good idea. [Teaching at others’ schools] seem more secure and less bother, but as long as I am an employee, I will always be subject to being loved baselessly or shat upon just as well. I look forward to the time I can break the chain and do work for my own project. It seems like only money to start a school stands in my way. I have programs for classes from SCS and a whole set of Holt graded readers along with NYC ESL tests, the knack and know-how to put it all together but I have not yet started to put it together. If I had extra money, I would go into it sooner. It will be done but now is not yet the right time. I will know it when it comes; I wish it would.

1-26-85

My wife said tonight that her father was interested in investing in an English language school that I would like to establish.. According to her, it would be a shared investment among her family. She told him it would take 50,000NT from him and each of her sisters and brother. I was quite surprised that he would show confidence in me. If the school fails, he stands to lose money; it would not be a loan.

I would be conservative about the programs using the audio-lingual quick-fix approach though I have little faith in it. The people have no patience when they lay out tuition even though the truth is there is no fast way to learn a language. JJELS is successful because their frantic syllabus leads one to think they are progressing rapidly. The language lab, which should be used for pronunciation drills, are wasted on English Sentence Structure and WTE repetition from class. You cannot argue with the success of JJELS. They are the best language school in Taiwan. A revolution to the Natural Approach would not be practical; no one would appreciate it. ‘Practical’ is the key word. Why are people here learning English? What did they not get from seven years [of English] in junior high and high school? I know I would like to use those interesting stories in the Holt Basic Reading series for young learners instead of those bloody Ladybird books; so meaningless and boring they are. I hope I can make use of the SCS syllabus and CREST/LAB tests. I might put together a grammar drill book for teachers so they will not have to keep flipping pages and changing books to teach a pattern, but my wife has a good point; the students see the teacher flipping and changing books and feel like they are getting more than if the same pages were together in one book. I now think JJELS has that in mind. They can afford to combine the teaching materials. Our school should be run like it has always been there.